7 Reasons Not To Give Up On Your Relationship
By Matt Glover
Let’s face it, there are not many relationships where at some point one or both partners haven’t considered whether they should toss it all in and start afresh. Relationships are tricky things, and creating and maintaining a consistently happy union is quite an achievement.
Whilst staying in a joyless, or even abusive, relationship is certainly not recommended, often people do give up on a relationship that can be salvaged and turned into something much better. Here are seven reasons why you shouldn’t give up on your relationship:
1. Divorce Statistics. Divorce statistics are notoriously difficult to accurately quantify, and vary from country to country. But a general estimation is that in the western world the average divorce rate is somewhere between 40-50%. However, what is less well known is that the estimated divorce rate for second marriages is around 60-70%, and the average divorce rate for third marriages is around 70-80%. So what does that tell us? It tells us that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side, and that most people don’t learn the lessons that they need to learn from their first marriage. It’s very easy to think that someone else is going to give you the happiness that you want, but we take the same issues from our previous relationships into our next ones and end up with the same problems repeating themselves.
2. Lifelong Memories. Being able to look back on your life and share those memories with your partner is a really special thing. Reflecting on and laughing at the good times can strengthen your bond and bring you closer together. And even the bad times can be looked back upon fondly as an opportunity to create a better relationship once you’ve worked through them.
3. Every Relationship has its Struggles. No relationship is all smooth sailing. There are always ups and downs, good times and bad times. Working through the bad times to create better times is the key to a healthy relationship. The battle that you may be currently facing could be the catalyst for transforming your relationship into something truly special.
4. An Opportunity to Learn. It’s very easy to blame our partner for all the relationships problems. We tend to have our own view of how the world should be, and if our partner doesn’t fit that view in some way we quickly point the finger at them. But we are all unique individuals, and relationship issues create an opportunity to look at ourselves and discover how we can grow through the conflict. In a healthy relationship, whenever conflict arises each partner asks the question ‘what can we learn from this?’
5. Role Model for Your Children. If you have children, they constantly look to you for guidance on what a healthy relationship looks like. They want nothing more than for their parents to stay together and be happy. The greatest gift you can give them is to work on your relationship and show them what a respectful and loving relationship looks like. And if you don’t have kids, you can still be a role model for your friends, nieces and nephews, neighbours etc.
6. Divorce is Expensive! According to Money Magazine, the estimated average cost of divorce litigation in Australia is between $50,000 and $100,000, and divorced parents on average have 25% less assets than their married counterparts.
7. Small Changes Can Lead to Big Improvements. It’s easy to think that our issues are insurmountable, but often they’re not as bad as they look. We simply get stuck in negative patterns that we don’t have the tools or understandings to get out of. Often simply some small changes in the way we communicate, or a better understanding of our partner’s reasoning or intentions, can lead to a dramatic change in the dynamic of the relationship.
If your relationship isn’t a source of joy and you don’t know how to turn things around, then rather than looking elsewhere perhaps it’s time to get some help to fix what you already have. Because the love that was thought to be lost that is found again, is the greatest love of all.
By Matt Glover
Matt Glover is a relationship expert with Happy and Healthy Relationships. If you would like to learn how to improve or re-ignite your relationship, book a free consultation here: http://www.happyandhealthyrelationships.com/ or contact Matt on 0416 211 424, or email matt@happyandhealthyrelationships.com